Love You, Hate You Read online

  “I’m fine,” Julian said, his voice muffled through the carpet. “Just a bit hung over.”

  “Hung over! Jules, it’s the show today! What were you doing drinking? What are you going to do?”

  Julian took a moment to sort out his thoughts. “I know, went with Mr. Yu, Dmitri, Jonathon, Leon, and some weird dude to Number Five. I dunno,” he answered, without raising his voice above a whisper.

  Tristan stared at him horrified. “Can you take something? Like … Aspirin? Would that work?” Julian just groaned.

  Tristan got him some Aspirin and shoved both the pills and his water bottle into Julian’s hand. “Take it!”

  After they finished warming up, Alexandra turned to Tristan and said, “What’s wrong with your BFF?” Julian had made it (sort of) through class, but he was now sprawled all over the floor again, blocking one of the aisles.

  “Mr. Yu took him out drinking last night.”

  Taylor had gone over to Julian, and she bent down to talk to him. “Hey … you okay?”

  “He’s hung over,” Tristan explained impatiently. Julian groaned.

  “I think he’s going to throw up or something,” Tristan said, biting his lip worriedly.

  “Oh, that sucks,” Taylor said calmly. “Come on, Jules. Let’s move you to the changing room, there’s a bathroom there.”

  Tristan was annoyed. “You can’t go in the boy’s changing room. I’ll take him.”

  “Since when?” Taylor asked, laughing. “Besides, I don’t have rehearsal. I’ll just take him.” Jules got up. He was queasy as he followed her out of the theatre.

  “Since when are they friends?” Tristan asked as he and Alexandra stared after them.

  Alexandra shrugged. “Stretch my feet, Tris? Sweetie? My ankle’s crap again today, and the cold outside is seriously not helping.” Tristan bent over and began to stretch her feet in silence. “Thanks, love you forever,” Alexandra said, concentrating on keeping her leg straight to take her mind off the pain.

  Kageki came over and sat down next to them to stretch. “I’m so happy the show’s today! And guess what? My parents can’t fly over from Japan to watch me! It’s so cool, yeah?”

  Alexandra raised her eyebrows. “Kageki’s parents are a bit scary,” Tristan explained.

  “Oh, sweet,” Alexandra said. “Congratulations, then!”

  Julian and Taylor came back in. Julian looked a bit better and he was drinking something.

  Tristan quickly turned to Alexandra. “That bodysuit looks so hot on you, darling.”

  “Awe, you’re so sweet! Love of my life.…”

  “I know, right?” Tristan bent over and kissed her on the mouth, and in a couple seconds they were doing a well-choreographed sex scene, rolling on the floor.

  “Ugh, gross!” Kageki said, moving away from them. He hated it when Alexandra and Tristan got all weird.

  “What are they doing down there?” Julian asked Taylor curiously. “I thought Tristan was gay.”

  “He is,” Taylor confirmed. Keiko came toward them, so Taylor got up and gave Keiko her seat and then sat in Keiko’s lap.

  “Where’s Dmitri?” Julian asked.

  “Outside, having a smoke with Mr. Yu,” said Keiko. “They won’t be back for a couple of minutes probably; Mr. Yu was telling him a story. Taylor, your butt hurts!”

  “Sorry,” Taylor giggled. “I can’t help it that I have a bony butt. I practically don’t have a butt at all; I’m like so skinny!” Keiko didn’t bother answering, just exchanged a meaningful look with Julian.

  Kaitlyn was stretching by the door when Cecilia came into the theatre. “Mom, you’re not supposed to be here!” she said, annoyed.

  “I just wanted to talk to you. Just for a second. Come over here.” Kaitlyn got up sulkily and went over to her. “Now, Kaitlyn, I want to film you in rehearsal so we can see if there is anything you need to work on. I already got permission from Gabriel, so don’t give me any snits about it. Just go, do your best, and I’ll film it for you.”

  “Gabriel can give permission for stuff? Since when? You are going to totally embarrass me. Thanks, Mom.”

  “Listen,” Cecilia hissed. “You are very lucky you have me to do this for you, you know. Most mothers wouldn’t do this. Most mothers wouldn’t care. Do you know what most mothers do? They just stick the kid in school and ignore them. That’s easy. I’d love to do that. Now you get that expression off your face and go work.” Kaitlyn glared at her, cheeks burning, and went and sat down to stretch. Two of the younger girls were sitting there, too, and they stared at her as she sat down.

  “I … she was just telling me that she left my lunch in the changing room,” Kaitlyn lied.

  “Oh, Delilah!” Ella called to Delilah who was just coming into the theatre. She waved her over. “Come here. Sophia and I have to tell you something.”

  Delilah made her way over reluctantly, and was soon giggling with Ella and Sophia. “That’s not too old!” she squealed loudly, causing everyone to turn in their direction.

  Grace sighed and shook her head as she watched Delilah laugh with Ella and Sophia. “How does somebody that big manage to be that tiny?” she asked Anna. “I mean, look at her. “

  “Proportion Distortion,” said Anna. They both giggled.

  “Oh, Aiko,” Grace said, watching her walk past them to sit with Mao and a bunch of other Japanese students. “Will you sit with us? Pretty please?”

  Aiko giggled. “Oh, of course, Grace-Chan.” She went over by them and began to talk to them while doing barre work. After a couple of moments, the other Japanese girls came up and joined them, making them the largest and loudest group in the theatre since the little kids hadn’t arrived yet. Grace smiled smugly, making sure that Alexandra noticed. Apparently she had: she had just climbed into Tristan’s lap and was now artistically draped around him.

  Just then Mr. Yu came striding in with Mrs. Castillo. He leaped onto the stage without hands. Mrs. Castillo tried to follow, but her advanced years and high heels meant that she nearly fell instead. Fortunately Mr. Yu grabbed her just before she fell and dragged her up on stage. They had a good chuckle up there and then Mr. Yu cleared his throat. Everyone stayed perfectly silent, waiting for him to speak.

  “Where is Mr. Moretti?” Mr. Yu asked, shading his eyes from the theatre lights as if he expected him to suddenly materialize in front of him.

  “With Mr. Demidovski,” Kageki called. Mr. Yu frowned unhappily. He got himself together and walked to the centre edge of the stage.

  “Today we have photo-shoot. Put on your first-cast costumes. Then rehearsal, no costumes, but pointe shoes yes, mark stage. The younger students arrive soon. Then short break, forty-five minutes, maybe, to put on makeup, lunch, then show. Then dinner break, we will feed you Duan’s buns, no need to leave theatre, and evening show. Okay? Understand?

  “Today, you do nothing I not say you do. I say dance, you dance. I say go pee, you pee. No go to the bathroom when I say dance. You understand?” He tried not to smile.

  “Yes,” they chorused.

  Alexandra rolled her eyes. “You hear that?” she asked Tristan, imitating Mr. Yu. “No go pee. Good dancer don’t go pee.”

  “Oh?” Tristan said, imitating back. “Mrs. Castillo say pee, pee much then very skinny, great dancer.”

  “Ahh, but no pee on stage. Dancer must not pee on the stage, must only love on the stage,” Alexandra said, laughing as she mixed up Mr. Demidovski and Mr. Yu.

  “Go quick, get ready,” Mr. Yu shouted, sending them all off to get changed.

  Kaitlyn looked at herself in the changing room mirror. Her curls were perfect now. She wished that they didn’t have to have the photo shoot and the evening show so far apart, they wouldn’t stay perfect for that long.

  Alexandra inclined her head in Kaitlyn’s direction, looking at Grace and Anna, then shifted her focus to Chloe. Anna smiled and nodded. All three, plus Taylor, who wanted to see what was going on, went into the hallway.

&nb
sp; “Chloe,” Grace called sweetly. “Could you come here for a second?”

  Chloe got up obediently and followed them down the hall. “What?”

  “Oh, we just wanted to help you get ready in your Clara outfit,” Alexandra explained, guiding her firmly down the hall to the green room where Cromwell Gilly was frantically making last minute alterations.

  “But … I’m not first cast.”

  “Oh, I don’t think it really matters,” Grace said. Anna snorted.

  “And you look so much better in it than Kaitlyn does,” Taylor added. The rest nodded, agreeing with her for once. They got her into the dress, and then they all headed to the stage to wait for the rest.

  Kaitlyn hurried down the hall to the green room; if she didn’t hurry she was totally going to be late. She looked through the racks and piles. Her costume wasn’t there!

  “Cromwell,” she said, her voice tinged with panic, “Where is my costume?”

  “What costume?”

  “Clara!”

  “Chloe’s wearing it.”

  “But she’s not first cast!” Kaitlyn was close to hysterics. Cromwell Gilly shrugged.

  Kaitlyn flew to the stage. “You’re late,” Mr. Yu said disapprovingly.

  “Chloe’s wearing my costume! I’m first cast Clara, and she’s wearing my costume!”

  Mr. Yu sighed with impatience. “Chloe is wearing costume. You Clara, her Clara, doesn’t matter. Go change into second cast costume or you will miss picture.”

  “I don’t have a second cast costume. I’m not anything for second cast.”

  Mr. Yu shook his head impatiently. “Just go sit then. Have break.”

  Kaitlyn ran down the hallway and found a secluded stairway to bawl in. She pulled a mirror out of her bag. Awesome, her eyeliner was completely destroyed and her face was totally puffy. She wondered if it would be possible to stay sitting on those stairs until the show was over, to never see any of them again. She’d just sneak out the back door and disappear. She shook her head and snuck into the bathroom, fixing her face the best she could before rehearsal.

  Rehearsal was the usual hectic mess. Mr. Yu had them do the second act first, and Mr. Moretti and Mr. Demidovski showed demanding to know why. Mr. Yu insisted that it made more sense for the sets that way. Mr. Moretti said that Mr. Yu was wasting his rehearsal time, and Mr. Yu said that he should have been there to start rehearsal himself if he was worried about wasting rehearsal time. Then he stalked off to fix the backdrops, calling Jonathon and Dmitri over to help. Mr. Moretti was infuriated because he had to call the boys over to rehearse every few seconds, and they wouldn’t stay.

  As they took their places for the Russian, Tristan noticed Kageki singing softly himself.

  “Are you okay, Kageki?” Tristan asked.

  “Yeah … I just … I didn’t feel well? I am sick, and Jonathon gave me some American pills, and now I feel weird. But not sick!”

  “What did you give Kageki?” Tristan asked Jonathon angrily. “Look at him.” Kageki had a huge silly grin on his face and was wandering aimlessly around.

  “What? He looks the same to me!” Jonathon said, but Tristan glared at him. “Okay, okay. I just gave him some painkillers. You know, it’s kinda like Tylenol except stronger. I don’t think they have it in Canada.”

  “Lovely! You’ve given him American drugs?” Tristan said angrily. “Thank God his parents aren’t here. Dude, he’s Japanese. Even I can’t handle American pharmaceuticals, and I’m Canadian!”

  After rehearsal, everyone went to get ready for the show.

  “We need to start getting into makeup. Do you know even how to do it?” Tristan asked Julian as they started walking to the changing rooms, passing by Taylor and Keiko.

  “Nope,” said Julian. “Oh no! I forgot my makeup.”

  “It’s okay, I’ll loan you mine,” Tristan reassured him.

  At this Taylor popped up. “Tristan, it’s okay, I’ll loan him mine,” she said brightly. “Because we have, like, the same skin colouring. I’ll just get it. And I can help him put it on, because I don’t have to get ready!” She ran off to get her makeup kit.

  “I’ll come, too,” Keiko said. “Otherwise she’ll put on too much.”

  “Thanks,” Julian said gratefully. “I don’t really need that much makeup. I mean, my eyelashes are totally long enough, I don’t need mascara.”

  Tristan rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Julian!”

  “What? They are.”

  Taylor came in waving her huge box of makeup. “I’ve got so much,” she said happily.

  “Caucasian eyes blink a lot,” Keiko said as she attempted to put on Julian’s eyeliner.

  Alexandra sat in the girls’ changing room, bored. She already had on all her makeup. She began adding a third layer just to fight her boredom and nervousness. All around her, everyone was talking excitedly, but she couldn’t feel happy about the show. Her mind turned to the lunch in her bag, and she pulled out a Lara bar.

  “You’re hungry already?” Grace asked. “You’re so calm! I couldn’t eat a bite.” She laughed a tinkling laugh.

  Alexandra didn’t bother to answer. She took her bag and found a quiet spot in one of the many halls. She ate quietly and quickly, afraid of being found before she was finished. When she finished, she stuffed the wrappers in her bag. Oh, great, she thought, fighting the tears that came to her eyes. She really hadn’t wanted to do this today, it totally messed up her face and she really didn’t have time. Well, it was too late, now. There was no way she could go out there and perform with all that in her stomach.

  She pulled her shoes and jacket out of her bag and slipped them on. She left the theatre anxiously and crossed the street to the Starbucks, embarrassed since she had her bun in, wore several pounds of makeup and her multi-coloured warm-up pants. What the hell, it’s not as if it’s going to stay in there. She ordered a blueberry square and ate it quickly, fidgeting in her seat, worried that someone would come in and see her. Finally, she took out her water bottle and chugged the whole thing. She went to the bathroom and threw everything up. She took a toothbrush out of her bag and quickly brushed her teeth, trying to ignore the sounds of the lineup for the bathroom that appeared after she’d gone in.

  Alexandra stepped outside of the Starbucks and into the fresh air, smiling as the cold wind touched her face. She ran across the street and slipped into the theatre again, feeling as if a load had been lifted off her mind.

  There was total chaos when she stepped back into the changing rooms. There were little kids everywhere, and everyone was rushing around trying to organize their costumes. Alexandra noticed that one of the little kid’s mothers had moved her makeup box and second bag off the counter and onto a chair. She angrily took the girl’s stuff and moved it to the other side of the changing room, stuffing it beneath the counter. She stripped, having already put on her tights and second skin, and began to put on her first act costume.

  “Excuse me,” one of the mothers said. “Where have you put my daughter’s stuff? Her stuff was right here, you can’t move it!” Alexandra shrugged. “You moved it!”

  “Excuse me? My stuff has been here since nine this morning. I have no idea what you’re talking about. I have to get ready, you should probably go look for your daughter’s stuff,” she said, looking down at the little girl. Definitely not going to be any good, she thought. She turned around and began to put her snow headpiece on. “Why are all these little kid mothers in here?” she asked Mao loudly.

  Mao shrugged. “I have no idea. They are not supposed to be here.”

  Mr. Yu came striding in. “First act, backstage in ten minutes,” he announced, ignoring the fact that it was a girls’ changing room. He looked at Alexandra’s feet as she adjusted the ribbons on her pointe shoes. “No shiny,” he said, tapping the box of her shoe.

  “What!” they all wailed as he left.

  “It’s almost time and now he tells us ‘no shiny’?” Alexandra said, angrily taking out her bottle of
calamine lotion.

  Aiko took out a container of powder. “It’s okay, we can use this.” She started to powder her shoes. Alexandra took her chances on the wet calamine. The powder looked slippery.

  Kaitlyn walked out of the theatre and into the lobby, scanning the crowds of school kids for her mother. There she was at the door of the theatre, gesturing frantically. She quickly ran over. “So? How was it?”

  “Shush, not right now,” Cecilia whispered. “I’ll tell you later.” Kaitlyn sighed impatiently as they went to sit down.

  “Oh, hi, Cecelia,” Charlize said as she sat down. “Oh, and Kaitlyn! I forgot you weren’t in the matinee anymore! I’m such a ditz! Isn’t this nice? We’ve got seats next to each other.”

  “Yes,” Cecilia said, smiling. “I didn’t know you were going to be here. Kaitlyn said that Taylor isn’t in the show this year.”

  “Yeah. Taylor decided that it was too much to do the show this year, she has just been working so hard on her pas de deux with Jules.”

  “Well, isn’t that nice? I didn’t know that Taylor was doing a pas de deux with him.… Well, good for her! She must be very excited. She’s never done a pas de deux before, has she? I remember when Kaitlyn had her first. She was six, I think? She was so excited!” Kaitlyn slumped into her seat, bored as she listened to them battle it out. I had better get a pas de deux with Jonathon, she thought, inspecting the blister on her foot.

  Julian looked in the mirror. His face seemed to have been transformed. “Wow. I look like an alien.”

  “No, you don’t,” Keiko said, insulted.

  “It looks really good,” Michael assured him as he carefully pencilled his eyebrows. “Very professional.”

  “I think you look totally hot!” Taylor said, giggling as she got out her camera and shoved it at Keiko. “Come on, picture time.” She hopped down from the counter and wrapped her arms around Julian.

  “Ichi, ni, san …” Keiko said, carefully focusing the camera. “Oh, Tristan, you ruined it!” Tristan had stuck his hand, in a peace sign, in front of the camera right before she took the photo. The tried again. “Cute! You need to make this your profile pic,” Keiko told Taylor, who quickly came to look.